Growing up Catholic in a small midwestern town, I knew about Jesus, but I most certainly didn’t know Him. I had no idea what it meant to be saved and spent my life trying to earn salvation. By my senior year of college, I felt like I had no control over any part of my life. No matter how hard I tried, my effort seemed to make it worse.
Praise God, He put three people in my life who poured the Word into me by their obedience to God, and I accepted Christ later that year. Things changed quickly after my conversion. I met my husband, Ryan, graduated college and started my career.
Even though I was sealed by the Holy Spirit and would call myself a Christian, I didn’t always act like it. God decided to uncover my issues with control and lack of faith through the birth of my son. Ryan and I were told at 22 weeks pregnant that Noah wasn’t going to make it. Having grown up with a handicapped brother, I had prayed for a healthy child long before we ever got pregnant and read books on how best to prepare my body for the optimal pregnancy. I was certain I could alleviate having a child with any complications this way. I thought God was only good if He was good to me, and I saw having a healthy child as a sign of that goodness.
Noah was born at 35 weeks. He stayed two and a half months in the NICU, and then by God’s grace, we were home with our son. The next year of his life was tough. I realized that I didn’t trust God with my son’s health, and I did everything in my power to get this child to thrive—on my own. I would still pray for Noah’s health, but did not expect God to heal him since I felt like I couldn’t trust Him. Thankfully, we serve a long-suffering, patient God who won’t shame us. I gradually came to understand that God is good all of the time regardless of my circumstance.
Hope for The Village Church
My hope for The Village is that we would all understand our identity in Christ and surrender our lives to Him so that we can serve each other with the good gifts He gave us for His glory.